Brave Dad

short jokes
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. 
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. 
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
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strange style

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Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green andone is blue with red spots!Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

      short jokes

customer waiter

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Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. 

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much. 

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.Waiter : So what! do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? 

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. 

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
short jokes
short jokes

girls Question

short jokes

Girl asks her lover, will you love me like this after marriage also? Boy: Yes, only if your husband does not have any problem.

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old man

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70 yr old man asked his wife "do u feel sad wen u see me running behind young girls?"wife replied 'No not atall, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it.
short jokes

one line jokes

one line jokes
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... 

one line jokes

sardar

one line jokes

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ... 

Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ? 

Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

      one line jokes

Osma laden

one line jokes
Osama asked from his brother,wots going on in ur life... his brother replied:'kabhi khushi kabhi gham' 
wen same question was asked from Osama he replied:' kabhi atom kabhi bomb'
one line jokes

Who said english is easy???

one line jokes

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid..

     one line jokes

Love never dies

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2 lovers plan 2 suicide. 
Boy jumped first. 
Girl closed her eyes n returnback saying "LOVE IS BLIND" 
Boy in the air opened his parachute saying "LOVE NEVER DIES"
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sweet short jokes

short jokes

>> A brave guy pulled out 6 people from a burning house... 
>> still he was in jail.......why? 
>> coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

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rude old man

one line jokes
An older man had met a younger woman, but unfortunately he was unable to
last very long before he would orgasm during sex. A caring man, he was
concerned that he was disappointing his new lover,so he called his doctor
for advice.
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last
longer
during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't
do
it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.
He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck
over on the side of the highway.
He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew
closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not
wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut
and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What the hell are you doing?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your truck
rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago.

one line jokes

one line jokes
There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.
She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.
"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.
"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"
"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.
"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.
"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."
"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.
"What do you want for some water?"
"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.
"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."
"Then lay back and close your eyes again."
This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."
"Eyes closed," he says.
Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.
"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"